Why It’s Okay to Grieve the Life You Thought You’d Have

Life isn’t always as it appears. We plan, we dream, and we work hard for the future we’ve imagined—only to have it taken away from us in an instant. I know that the pain is all too well. I built a successful career, made sacrifices, and invested in a life I thought would never end. Then, it all came crashing down. A federal conviction shattered the vision I had for my future, and I found myself asking, Who am I now?

What I learned in the process is that it’s okay to grieve the life you thought you’d have. In fact, it’s necessary.

We attempt to push through grief, forcing ourselves to move on quickly or “stay strong.” But loss—whether it’s a lost career, relationship, or dream—is deserving of honor. **Grieving doesn’t make you weak; it makes you human.

Why Mourning Is a Necessary Part of Healing:

1. It Allows You to Accept Reality

Denying your pain won’t make it disappear. Accepting your loss allows you to process it and begin to heal.

2. It Allows You to Honor What Was

Your dreams mattered. Your efforts weren’t in vain. **It’s okay to grieve for what could have been.

3. It Paves the Way for What’s Next

When we hold on too tightly to the past, we miss what God is doing in the present. **Letting go doesn’t mean forgetting—it means making room for something new.

4. It Deepens Your Faith

At my worst, I blamed God. *Why did this happen? * But in mourning, I came to see that God wasn’t done with me. He was writing a new chapter, even when I couldn’t see it.

Moving Forward with Hope

Mourning life, you thought you’d have doesn’t equate to giving up—it means you’re recovering. You can mourn the past and still maintain a future of hope, purpose, and new beginnings.

Your story isn’t finished. It’s okay to weep over what was, but don’t forget to keep your eyes open for what’s ahead.  Because sometimes, what lies ahead is even better than what we know.